“Honour the space between no longer and not yet.” — Nancy Levin
Welcome to Lyd on Life
Over the weekend I celebrated my best friends 25th birthday. It’s weird saying it out loud. Twenty Five. Such a cereal and life changing age for those approaching it. It’s at this point you look at your past and ponder about your future and ask yourself: Are you where you want or need to be?
As I approach 25 myself, I’m constantly asking myself that question.
Our girly catch-up took place at a restaurant called Gogi on Edgware Road, London. It’s one of her favourite restaurants and its pretty decent. Their Spicy Chicken and Gogi Dumpling are so good. Highly recommend.
Once the food came, the talking started.
I don’t know how we jumped from one topic to the other but we spoke about all aspects of life. Kids, marriage, sex, jobs, university, our upbringing, bleaching, body image, and so much more. Four girls, good food and a table for 3 hours. We took our time.
None of us felt like we were ready to be 25. Maybe 21 (some 18) but not 25. What is 25 supposed to feel like anyway?
During our teen years, we define that for ourselves with an unrealistic view of how life will be at 25. A fabulous career, on the property ladder and planning my wedding. That’s what 25 looked like to me when I was 18.
We forget that the steps needed to achieve that life take time. You need time to find your dream job (if that exists) and adjust to it. Time to build a meaningful relationship. Time to save for a wedding, a house and build this fabulous lifestyle we dream of. Most people graduate at 21. It’s very rare to achieve all of that by 25.
At 21, I thought I’d be in a serious relationship getting ready to graduate, start my career and build a future with someone. I didn’t get into a relationship till I was 23. I had to repeat my last year at university (long story). I didn’t get my first-degree related job till I was 24 and I didn’t start saving till this year. I can’t cook, I don’t like my personal style, I don’t exercise or eat healthly and I’m still battling with problem skin. What would my 18-year-old self say?
I’m not where I thought I’d be at 24 (soon to-be 25). I feel like I’m 2 years behind. But you know what, that’s ok. Not everything is in our control and not everything will happen when we want it to. But that doesn’t mean we give up on what we want. We adjust. We make the necessary changes and decisions to put us back on track to achieving the life we want. Right?
So instead of feeling bad for myself, I’m grateful that I have an opportunity to do something about it. To make my 18-year-old proud that I’m creating the life I want with what I have and not what I wish I had.
Perhaps we are exactly where we need to be, to get to where we want to be. But we have to be focused. Spend more time looking ahead to see where we are going and less time looking at our feet to see where we are. Remember that there are also things in our lives which we didn’t plan to happen but they did and we are grateful for them. Lets focus on those things and use them to find our silver lining in this quarter life crisis.
It’s easier said than done but it’s not impossible. Hopefully this blog will prove it. There are many people who feel they way you and I feel. But there are also many people doing something about it. I am. Are you?
Do you feel you are where you want to be? Is that where you thought you’d be at your age? What are some of the things you expected to have achieved at your age? What stopped you from achieving them?
Get in touch, tweet me @lydonlifeblog or share your experiences and tips with everybody in the comments.
Till next time.
Lydia x | https://lydonlife.wordpress.com